November 1, 2020

“….it is about souls isn’t it?”. the big picture. “. “ yes,” he said. “ It’s about souls. “

rest in peace little elephant. rest in peace.

Dutch Apple Pie

October 8, 2020

  • 1 (9 inch) pie shell
  • 5 cups apples – peeled, cored and sliced
  • 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • ⅔ cup white sugar
  • ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • ¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg
  • ¼ teaspoon ground allspice
  • 2 tablespoons butter 
  • ¾ cup all-purpose flour
  • ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • ½ cup packed brown sugar
  • ¾ cup rolled oats 
  • 1 teaspoon lemon zest
  • ½ cup butter 


  • Step 1
  • Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C). Fit pastry shell into pie pan and place in freezer.
  • Step 2
  • To Make Apple Filling: Place apples in a large bowl. In a separate bowl combine 2 tablespoons flour, white sugar, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice. Mix well, then add to apples. Toss until apples are evenly coated. Add a sprinkle of vanilla over apples.
  • Step 3
  • Remove pie shell from freezer. Place apple mixture in pie shell and dot with 2 tablespoons butter or margarine. Lay a sheet of aluminum foil lightly on top of filling, but do not seal.
  • Step 4
  • Bake in preheated oven for 10 minutes.
  • Step 5
  • While filling is baking, make Streusel Topping: In a medium bowl combine 3/4 cup flour, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, brown sugar, oats, and lemon peel. Mix thoroughly, then cut in 1/2 cup butter or margarine until mixture is crumbly. Remove filling from oven and sprinkle streusel on top.
  • Step 6
  • Reduce heat to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Bake an additional 30 to 35 minutes, until streusel is browned and apples are tender. Cover loosely with aluminum foil to prevent excess browning.
  • Recipe taken from AllRecipes.com
  • Vanilla sprinkle added from my Mom. 🙂

June 6, 2020


June 6, 2020

… and here you are wishing you were 30 miles from midland … looking down that long road of peaceful asphalt… wind blowing behind the blue mountains of Balmorhea… …way out west in Texas. Torah. Pecos… Monahans… and real people saying good morning over truckstop coffee.

god bless texas. god bless the united states of america i once knew.


less than.

May 14, 2020


May 10, 2020

…. so I am sitting in my car eating my lunch from mcdonalds…we are across from a cemetery and i see this woman in a green skirt … running across the grass. i think she must be walking her dog… and then i see her fall down to the ground kiss a cemetery stone… lay there for just a few minutes… kiss the stone again holding it close …. then stand up raise her hands to the sky … kiss the air waving at the sky..dancing. it was so poignant, joyous… and exquisite.

how lucky are we to know these people … how lucky are we to celebrate their lives. how lucky are we to celebrate how much we miss them. so much.

answer, "…no."

March 23, 2020

“ I took my temperature and it’s normal! ” I shouted from the next room. nervous laugh.

“…hey, do you think we’ll be laughing about this sometime in our lives?”

…from the other room (while he works in newspaper after newspaper across the great United States)….




she used to call me maria

February 13, 2020

she used to call me maria. when they first came into my store she called me maria. she would come in with her husband…. they would shuffle through the store buy a few things on foodstamps and never asked questions… but everytime they would stop by the produce dept and say hello I had a bold name tag on  shouting out my name but she still called me maria. 

one day she came in. her husband wasn’t doing well. together we carefully chose things he might be able to eat. he wouldn’t eat she said… her eyes cast down to the floor. we chose some things carefully… and hoped together. a few weeks later I heard he had passed. 

I work an unimportant job in america. I get paid very little and hope I can make ends meet….  she came in weeks later… looked at me and I gave her a big hug. her eyes teared up… i hugged her again.  she looked up and looked at my nametag and said… oh i thought your name was Maria — I said… of course! That is my middle name. I love the name maria. 
she was shuffled off to a smaller home. she hoped to stay in corpus christi… said her kids lived away in houston…. she wanted to stay here but she was alone…. 

and I miss her. 

November 14, 2019

October 17, 2019